


the pieces of my heart are missing you

by dontletyourheartdistractyou



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (Kind of? Kira's not the kindest person towards herself), Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst, Aromantic Character, Aromantic Malia, Canonical Character Death, F/F, Minor Malia Tate/Kira Yukimura, Self-Hatred, Trans Female Character, Trans Kira, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 02:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6034410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dontletyourheartdistractyou/pseuds/dontletyourheartdistractyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The children around her laugh and jeer and all Kira can muster the strength to do is cover her ears and hope for rescue.</i>
</p><p>OR</p><p>Kira's memories of the girl she <strike>once loved</strike> loves, and the thoughts after her treasured one's death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the pieces of my heart are missing you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hhwgv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhwgv/gifts).



> Written for [andminyard](http://andminyard.tumblr.com/) as part of the TW Secret Valentine that took place on Tumblr. Title from 'When You're Gone' by Avril Lavigne, since it seemed fitting.
> 
> [[[ Here on Tumblr. ]]](http://twsecretproject.tumblr.com/post/139307037472/notes-allira-childhood-best-friends-au-1k)

_The children around her laugh and jeer and all Kira can muster the strength to do is cover her ears and hope for rescue._

_When she walked into this playground, she didn’t expect them to be so mean, insults pouring easily from their lips as if it was a waterfall. One of the group, a gang of five, tugs at her short little ponytail, which after months of deliberation she’d finally gained the courage to grow, and another yanks at it._

_“Why isn’t it coming off?” they ponder, and Kira resists the urge to throw up from the anxious pressure starting to make itself known, darkness already closing in around the edges of her eyes, to pull herself away._

_They think her hair’s a wig. She doesn’t look like a real girl. Tears start to prick, and she brushes them away with hands curled into fists._

_A taller person, from the other side of the spacious field, decides to make themselves known. Their about 14 to Kira’s 10, but bullying and prejudice doesn’t seem to have an age limit._

_The words are hard and paired with a sneer, words Kira can’t bear to repeat, and the want to pass out appears, strong, and Kira starts to hyperventalate, breaths coming out short and ragged._

_“Hey!” There’s a yell from somewhere behind, but she’s sense of everything around her, so she can’t pinpoint exactly where. It’s probably just another kid here to add to the pain, anyway._

_“Back off!”_

_The words shock Kira. Her entire body jolts, and she can only watch on, an observer, as a blur sends one of the bullies sprawling._

_There’s a girl standing in front of her, a protective shield. Her hair’s dark and her stance is sturdy. She isn’t tall, not bulky either, but there’s something about her that shocks fear into the surrounding area._

_The gang is already off running, one of them holding a cheek bruised red, and the girl, panting, smiles over her shoulder, her face painted pink from exertion._

_“Are you alright?” Something makes Kira ask that. She’s not sure why, but she wonders about this girl’s health. Why would she help her?_

_‘You’re just a freak,’ a voice whispers in her head, and it’s hard to push down, but the girl grins and brushes off the mud she’d kicked up from running so fast off her denim clad legs._

_“I should be asking you that,” the brunette reaches over, and Kira flinches, expecting the worst, but the other simply brushes a hand through a tangled piece of hair which had fallen out of it’s tie._

_“I’m Kira.” Her voice is wavering and awkward, cracking at the end. A fierce blush rises over her cheeks._

_“I’m Allison.”_

_The girl tilts her head and the quirk of her lips leaves Kira feeling breathless._

_“Nice to meet you.”_

-

The memory never leaves Kira.

Her very own knight in shining armour (‘Knightess?’ she ponders, but another word sticks best. ‘Huntress.’), running in to save the day. Kira misses that feeling.

Not the feeling of being saved, no, not ever that (because the relief is great, yes, but Kira wants to fight her own battles, wants to never be a damsel in distress), but the feeling of Allison being there, standing there, in arm’s reach.

She just misses her.

It’s always stuck in Kira’s mind that the best friend she’d left behind as a child back in that old town she could never quite remember the name of never knew of what they once had. Neither of them had ever brought it up, at least.

Part of her thinks she was scared, to scared to admit that, yes, she was not always called Kira by others, and how she was once Kisuke to everyone else, and how others once thought she was a boy.

Part of her thinks that she had the idea that Allison wouldn’t have took the news well. That Allison would have remembered and would have laughed in Kira’s face and spread rumours and would have hated her. Kira knows better now.

And now she’s gone.

Kira hates herself for that.

After all, she never got the chance to build up what was lost. Even if she had tried. Once.

-

_“Have we met before?” Kira wonders, and of course, she regrets it. A flush makes a steady way up her neck, and she wishes the ground could swallow her whole._

_Allison laughs, bubbly and full of life. “Are you flirting with me?”_

_Kira denies it, of course, stuttering over her words. She can see Scott flash her a heavy look, a similar one landing on Allison. He looks almost smug, his lips curling into a smile. “N-No, of course not!”_

_When Allison hops off later on, Kira buries her face into her arms and groans._

-

Kira finds it hard to move on when Malia’s nearby.

She’s not sure what she exactly feels for her. It’s not love, but it’s not just friendship. She likes kissing Malia, likes how the girl feels in her arms, but her emotion are so muddled.

She knows Malia will never like her or love her like that. She’s fine with that. She doesn’t know what they are (girlfriends? Friends with benefits? They never decided on an official title) but she doesn’t mind.

It’s just…

She feels like she’s betraying Allison.

It’s not fair, especially when she and Allison had never been an actual thing in the first place. All they were was a could have been love.

So why is she acting like this?

Kira has no idea.

It just hurts, witnessing Malia walk around in her clothing and standing in the gap she left. She doesn’t blame the werecoyote. No, that would be sinking too low.

But she can’t help but think that it’s wrong.

-

_“Where is she? Where’s Allison?”_

_“Kira…”_

_“What happened? Well? She’s okay, isn’t she? Stop staring at me, Scott, and say something!”_

_“Kira… She’s gone…”_

_“No. No. You’re lying. You’ve got be lying.”_

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“A-Allison…”_

-

The grave is littered with roses, new and old, fresh and wilted.

Kira put them there herself, a sign of love (if a cliche one).

Her hands are stuffed into her pockets and she can only stare.

“Kira?”

She turns her head and there is Malia.

“You coming?”

“Yeah,” she murmurs, before casting a look behind her.

She swears she saw an angel clad in a hunter’s garb with a bow in hand looking over her.


End file.
